May 04, 2008

Im divorced... What should I do. Im still young, 25 to be exact. Together for 10years and marryed for 7years. My son is 6 and my girl is 2. My x left almost a year ago and left me and the children all alone.. All of the emotions are sorted and because im working shifts my children live with my parents nearby. We are happy in a unique way. 4 me I just don't know what 2 do. Life just dont seem 2 be the same and please, what am I suppose 2 be, any suggestions...

Jacques
Potch, S.A. North west

April 09, 2008

My fience just said he's done with me and doesn't love me any more The problem is I am still very much in love with him we have an 8 yr old son together and have been together 10 yrs living together 9 no break ups I've been a stay at home mom most of this time He never maried me and refused to put my name on anything so now I am litteraly peniless and soon to be out on the streets with my child. I have been looking for work for almost a year now and despite submitting several aplications and having many interveiws still jobless. I am so scared What do I do? He says I need to get my own apartment and start supporting my self. I am lonely heart broken and verbaly abused scared but smart I have 2 associates degrees do not drink or do drugs and keep an imaculate house do all the erands and childcare. Help!! why do I still love him when he's hurt me so bad How do I get out on my own and stand on my own two feet when I have nothing ? HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!!

cj
windam county , ct

March 04, 2008

I've failed again, but now I am stronger and more determined to make it...After 17 years of marriage, my husband 5 years younger than I left me for my so called "friend"... I have been 6 months seperated, lonley, grieving, and have lost 50lbs. That's the best part. I am very outgoing, active and take pride in myself and my appearance....He left Aug 12th 07 and we got back together Feb 9th 08. He moved back in with me and I was praying and hoping that I could handle the deception, deceit and lying..I gave it all I got, we talked, I listened, and I knew still in my heart that he was lying but didn't want to admitt it...SO I was trying my best. Last Friday after 3 weeks of bliss , he came home walked in the door and put on that fake cry, and said..I'm done, I can't handle this and I love "HER" and I'm leaving. I said. I know and I felt numb but yet had peace all in the same. He has no one now but her, she's been married 2x before and dating various men. She's really ugly, I think that is what hurts me the most. I must have some inadequacies, that she posses that I don't. After living in heartache and uncertainty for 17 years. He has sever Bi-Polar and has had numerous fits, and rage and is very mean...Why did I stay? Why do I care,..Can I ever heal???? I'm on my way to court again today because as retalliaton he is such a "sissy" he fights me physically and I always fight back in defense for myself. He goes and gets an assault charge after the fact he struck first....Please give me some insite...I need a release...

Deb1963
wytheville, VA

March 03, 2008

Well, we would have made it to 5 years in August, but I'm done. I finally get the strength to just walk away. I thought we would live "happily ever after", but after having my 2 year old son 3 months early, the marriage was taking a turn for the worse.I could never depend on this man and I finally figured out he would always put his family before us. Thank god for my mom! If it wasn't for her continuous support, I don't know where I would be. The coming home late episodes started to get more frequent and we were basically living as roommates. This man took no fault in anything. I was too blame for all my "issues".I wasn't "allowed" to answer his cell phone. But, I was always good enough for him to ask for money. He even would text me for sex. So I say "Good Riddance" to him!!!

dana
glenn heights, texas

February 24, 2008

After reading several posts, the pain and agony is different yet seems the same. My husband of 12 years comes home 1 day and tells me that he is in love with another woman (his staff) because there is no more romance and passion in our marriage, but he is happy with our marriage. ???? Don't worry, I'm confused myself. The confusion, insecurity, loneliness, instability etc. is on a rollercoaster, I can't eat or sleep and he carries on like nothing happened. He continues to have dinner, lunches and whatever with her whilst I rush to work and back, pick our daughter, clean the house, cook the dinner and only get to rest when the chores are done and the little girl is asleep. He hardly spends time with us anymore. I want a divorce but he doesn't as he is having the best of both worlds now. I have to think of so many other factors as I have very little savings, I'm a catholic, my parents are rather traditional and our daughter's future and emotional stability. He still provides financially and he knows he dominates and controls me in this area. Should I proceed with divorce or wait till the tide goes out and he comes to his senses? Sigh! I don't even have the answer as I'm just as confused as he is. Just venting. Free advice welcome.

SY
PJ, Malaysia

February 21, 2008

I had been with my husband 13 years we have a 6 year old beautiful boy.In the summer of 2005 i caught him having an affair and after 2 years of continious efforts to solve our problems i had no choice but to file for divorce. He is still with the same woman (10 years younger than me) and the live together. I have tried counseling, reading self help books, psychotherapy with my friends my family everything to ease the pain but NOTHING works. I STILL FEEL SO LONELY AND MISS HIM TERRIBLY! He broke my heart by telling me he just wasnt in love and attracted to me anymore because i had gained so much weight with the pregnancy. I am still the same person how can someone that adores you for 12 years stop loving you because you got fat? I suppose i am such a helpless romantic that i believe stil in the vows of marriage " through sickness and health through richer or poorer till death due us apart" . I feel helpless and miserable and just cant stop loving him

heather
athens, Greece

February 19, 2008

Well after only 2 years of marriage its over. She had 2 affairs that I know of but I never hit or hurt her in any way. I tried to make it work but in the end she was determined to destroy us. I don't feel sorry for myself in fact i am happy that I went through it all because I feel like it made me a stronger person. The entire experience has disillusioned me quite a bit. I am lonely though having no friends to talk to I turned to the bottle. If there Is one thing I have learned through all this it is that nothing lasts forever. You cant take anything for granted and you have to make the most of every moment because before you know it, it will be too late.

Christopher
Rockville, IN

February 14, 2008

I was married almost 6 years. With her for 9 1/2. Met her when I was still living at my parents home when I was a kid. As time went on, I got involed in drinking and drugs. All the while she was taking care of our 3 year old daughter. I had left my wife and kid for another woman thinking it would make me happy. Boy was I wrong. But by the time everything had sunk in and I wanted to right the wrong, it was to late. We had already filed the paper work and she already had a new man. One that is 10 times better then me. I left my girlfriend and her boy to move back with my ex as a room mate. This way I can be with my little girl every night. I am hoping my ex and I can build a new relationship. And then maybe someday...

Todd
Redding, CA

February 08, 2008

My husband of 10 yrs left a note in our bathroom and left our marriage. He has a new girlfriend and I am still trying to figure out how to not love and/or miss my husband. There are times I want to go to sleep and never wake up so I don't have to feel this pain. It has been 5 months and our divorce will be final in 2 months. He won't talk to me. I am on my second attorney just trying to make sure that I receive half of what I have coming...THE PROBLEM IS: I did not want the divorce but relize that since he has a new girlfriend that divorce is inevitable. I would love to talk to someone who is on the other side of divorce. Someone whose life feels normal again. I am not convinced I will ever get over this. This is not my first divorce but I can say this is the divorce I didn't see coming.

Debbie
Visalia, California

November 30, 2007

Today, after more than a year of being seperated, I filed my divorce. I don't understand why I am reacting like I am-so upset and so angry. We have been seperated for sometime and he and his new girlfriend have a child together, we have a good enough relationship that we can talk and get along for our own childs sake. I am happy for him. I have moved out of state and onto a new life in California which I am enjoying. I have a good thing going and I learned so much about myself and what I could have done better and things I should not have tolerated, lots in the time since we seperated. But today right now, I am not okay, and I am angry and bitter and confused and I don't understand how this all happened to us. How did we let things go so far that it had to end at all? I feel like such a failure. I don't know what to do with myself at all, I don't know why I can't stop crying and I have no one to talk to. I have not been able to be in a normal functioning relationship since. Maybe I am not as strong as I thought I was.

Jana
Sacramento, California